I have had my fair share of asking other people for help. I have dialed friends up at three in the morning, cried on the shoulders of loved ones and as we all do, repeated the same old chit chat of life drama day in and day out to a bunch of patient faces until finally, I got sick of it and decided to make a change. The thing is, although over the years I have learned that opening up and being vulnerable is actually a strength and not a weakness, there was still a part of me that felt like asking others for help was actually a burden on them. This is why when Jai asked me to write an article on; ‘loving others by allowing them to love you,’ I found myself at a bit of a dead end.
How was I actively giving love to others by asking them for help? Yes, of course, it is a scary thing to open up to another and I commend all those that spend their day to day lives with their hearts out on their sleeves but, am I still not taking time away from people by asking for their helping hand? Does it not take away from their well-being when I ask them to listen to me or give me a piece of advice? I was surprised to find that I, an advocate of throwing your heart out into the world, was still carrying around this destructive belief that my pain, my needs, and my weaknesses were a burden on others.
I started to think about all the times I had helped a friend in need, when I spent my days wiping tears and snot off my shoulder, I remembered the times when those who were going through a hard time called me at all hours of the morning and I began to realize that I love doing that. I love being there for people. Of course, there were times when I felt tired and a bit grumpy in the process but being there for others has always made me feel better, made me feel needed and made me feel loved and, let’s be honest, we all love to feel like someone needs us to some degree. We all love feeling like we are making some positive impact on the world. That’s why we join charity organizations, sign petitions or just do something simple like make food for our friends and family when they come over.
In a sense then, we are loving others by allowing them to love us. We’re giving them the opportunity to feel needed and wanted. So open up that weary heart, let them all in, and spread love around like your life depends on it.